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Frantic and afraid, eating food out of a trash can, I promised myself, I will never do this againI will stop bingeing. 

And then, the next day, or maybe even later that same hour, I would get triggered, and guess what I would do next? Eat uncontrollably. To say that I felt like a complete loser is a total understatement.

I felt like a failure.

I’d been in recovery for an eating disorder for years, and I knew what I should have been doing: I could have called someone for help or gone to a therapy group — but I wasn’t doing those things. Why? This was one of the most frustrating parts of my recovery. Even though I knew what I should be doing, I wasn’t doing it.

Why am I not getting better, I’d ask myself. Or am I slowly getting better, and I just don’t know it?

Recovery is, weirdly enough, like Chinese bamboo.

I know, who thinks about recovery and bamboo? But before you give up on me, please hear me out.

To continue reading, click here to read the full post on Eating Recovery Center’s blog.