Dear family, friends, healthcare professionals, teachers, and coaches:
Please be my hope holder. I have eaten food out of trashcans. I have stolen food. I feel horrible, disgusting, and oh so ashamed. I desperately need you to believe in me, because, honestly, sometimes I think that I’m going crazy. My world is spinning out of control, yet, amidst this inner turmoil, I somehow look okay.
You can’t tell how I’m doing by looking. Sure, I wear a smile, and, my resume seems to indicate that I have a bright future ahead. Physically, I even “look normal,” friends say. I might not appear sick or malnourished, but I am. A body size isn’t an accurate barometer for pain and suffering. Neither is an official eating disorder diagnosis or lack thereof.
I’m more than a diagnostic label. While 1 in 200 adults in the United States have experienced full-blown anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating disorder, at least 1 in 20 (1 in 10 teen girls) have suffered with key symptoms—and need help. Not every eating disorder fits neatly into a little diagnostic package. Lesser-known eating disorders are not less than. In fact, Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder, OSFED, can be just as serious, or more so, than other eating disorders. No matter what diagnostic code my insurance company denotes by my name, I deserve recovery. (Sometimes, I need you to remind me of this.)
To read the full post on The Meadows Ranch Blog, click here.
body image, recovery, relationships